Friend:
i think he’s practicing that thing
what’s it called?
where when you want something it happens?
Me:
fake it till you make it?
self fulfilling prophecy?
Friend:
no no
it’s like a thing
Me:
liar liar pants on fire?
Categories
Parents, Parenthood, Time, and the Feels
BLUF: Thoughts on a quantified look at time with our loved ones. Time is our most precious resource.
I read this post from Wait, but Why a while back, but find that I’m still sharing it with folks both in the context of being a new parent and appreciating the time with my kiddo as well as appreciating the time I have left with my parents/loved ones. It just gives me the feels to see it quantified in Tim’s blog post. I won’t come close to doing the post justice so I highly suggest you click through and give it a read yourself.
Read it? Cool. Here’s how thinking about the Tail End Principle has changed the way I view things.
- As a child: By dumb luck I already have some advantages with spending time with my parents in that we live in the same state and seeing them is just a 1 hour flight down to SoCal. The post gave me a way to more accurately evaluate the cost-benefit of a weekend trip down with regards to cost of tickets, etc. I not only have time left with my parents, but my grandmother is still around as well.
- As a parent: I try to get home and spend time with my kiddo, P, during the work week. Whether it’s spending mornings with him or evenings I aim for at least one session during the work week. Two if I can squeeze it in. He may not remember all the interactions, but I hope that some imprint will stay there.
- Tail End Corollary: Having spent time thinking about Tail End Principle I came up with a corollary
Tail End Corollary: The time my child has with my loved ones has equal/greater value than the time I have with them
Assuming that I value time with my parents/grandparents/relatives/loved ones. The time P can spend with them must have equal or greater value. The argument can be made that P won’t be able to remember said interactions if he’s too young. But given that I have placed value in spending time with them, one can assume that the fact that they were able to interact with P also has intrinsic value to me. So trips to visit now generate more value to me as a parent than they did when it was just me.
I hope this post helps everyone take a step back and understand how to value the time they have left with their loved ones. I doubt he’ll ever see this, but I want to thank Tim for sharing his thoughts.
For all you new parents out there. I made a handy dandy flowchart based on asking a bunch of questions over P’s first 3 doctor visits. I’ll let the chart speak for itself. Note: the below assumes you did not have any special or extenuating
Categories
Travel with Baby
When we had Preston the tip we got from our more experienced parent friends about flight travel was to do it while he was still between 3 and 10 months old. It sounds young, but stick with me…there are some pretty good reasons.
- Kiddos still sleep a ton at this point
- You’ve gotten them at least the first set of immunization shots (you are doing that…right?)
- They’re not that mobile yet which leads into…
- They don’t get bored from sitting in one place (relative to after they can walk I am told)
- Kid doesn’t need a ticket as a lap baby (International flights may require some taxes and fees)
- You can ask for a seat that has access to a baby bassinet. They may charge you some nominal fee for this, but it’s so worth to be able to put kiddo down for a bit during the flight so you can do stuff…like eat…really fast. It’s also convenient to give them a place to sleep. Note that most bassinets have weight/size restrictions that will vary from airline to airline (so check!)
- If you’re breast feeding, the baby’s food supply comes with no cleaning or extra luggage!
Will it still be stressful? You bet. But your other options are:
- Don’t go out
- Only go for drives
- Wait for kiddo to grow up
So go for it. Don’t be too worried and please ignore the haters when they see you with the kid. Just focus on the fact that you’re about to spend some quality time with you little one. You can always make the first move and offer some good will to your neighbors =) Happy Traveling!
First off, CONGRATULATIONS! If you’re asking this question you’re already on your first step to that “Rich Life”. What are IRAs? They’re essentially vehicles for retirement (Individual Retirement Account – IRA). As you’ve noticed there are two kinds: Traditional and Roth.
As the names suggest the Traditional came first and the Roth I believe is more a function of my generation, but now they’re very prevalent. Well what’s the difference? If you assume normal usage of these accounts it boils down to one thing…when you get taxed.
Traditional – Use Pre-Tax income. Get taxed on anything that is withdrawn after you retire.
Skip taxes now. Get taxed on everything later.Roth – Use After-Tax income. Anything you withdraw after you retire is tax free.
Get taxed now. Pay no taxes on everything later.
Here is some math with non-real life numbers for additional visualization.
Traditional –
Today: Income: 60k. Invest 10k into Traditional. Get taxed on 50k. 20% Tax Rate (10k). 40k Income.
Retirement: 10k becomes 100k. Your tax bracket at retirement is 10%. You are taxed 10k and keep 90k.Roth –
Today: Income: 60k. Invest 10k into Roth. Get taxed on 60k. 20% Tax Rate (12k). 38k Income (60k – 12k taxes – 10k Roth)
Retirement: 10k becomes 100k. Your tax bracket at retirement is 10%…it doesn’t matter. You already paid taxes so you keep 100k.
The numbers aren’t realistic, but you get the idea. I really like Roth IRAs if you’re under 35. If you believe in the power of compounding and you have time, Roth is probably for you. It’s because your earnings/growth on your investment is all tax free. The longer you let your money grow the more the earnings you get so that’s why I suggest people start this young. It’s the 2nd thing I would consider for retirement (The first being a 401k match from work, if they offer it. 401ks also nowadays come in the Traditional and Roth flavors. Above rules apply as well). IRAs tend to also have much lower limits than 401ks ($5500 in 2016. Rules different if you’re over 50).
This may or may not apply to you, but another reason why I say do it soon is because Roth IRAs have income limits and people generally make less early (the limits change yearly and are fairly high). For 2016 if your income falls is above $183,000 you can put less as you make more (at $188k you can only put in $2750) until…$193,000 you can’t contribute. If you contribute more than you were supposed to you have to take it out and possibly pay some penalties. It gets a bit messy so be aware if you’re close to this threshold.
You can technically take money out before retirement, but you’ll pay taxes (only applies to Traditional since you paid taxes on the Roth already) AND an additional 10% penalty (Applies to both). Just don’t do it.
There’s a lot more, but this will hopefully get you started in understanding IRAs and which is best for you.
Wow you read to the end. Hit me up on Twitter (or upper right icon) if you’re interested in something more specific or just want to chat. I’m trying to be better about trying it out.
It’s been a long time and some of my particular healthier habits have fallen a bit to the wayside with all that’s happened in the past year.
I moved to London for 6 months, got married, and now am expecting in June…all that within a year…
Given my previous and upcoming life changes I’ve decided that I will have to practice more balance. Balance of Work, Personal learning, Family, Health, and Mental health.
For each of these categories I want to have a goal and a measurable outcome.
- Work – Improve on my new role at work while being more flexible with my other items. So much of my identity is actually wrapped up with work, but parts of that do have to give with my life changes.
- Personal – Goal of learning something new. I have rediscovered Duolingo and loved my trips in Spain. So specifically going to aim to use it daily (ideally 2-3 “lesson sections”). I also want to keep this blog up and aim for weekly posts.
- Family – I have a wife and now a child on the way. Being prepared to give them what they need physically, emotionally, and financially are goals here. To be tangible I will ask my wife to grade me in each of those areas on a quarterly basis between 1-5. I’ve heard it works.
- Health – Getting back into a healthy eating and workout habit. I can’t spend the amount of time doing what I did before, but am hoping to push back into more Paleo and work out 3 times a week. Also sleep, which I am told I will truly miss once the little one arrives.
- Mental – Meditation/Mindfulness seems to be a big hipster/techie thing at the moment. Carin and I have been trying out headspace. My goal is to be able to do 10m a day…ideally in the morning.
Categories
And I’m back
After what was obviously a long hiatus I’m back. Specifically playing around with some new tech and seeing how it all fits together. Lots happened since the last post, but we’ll just slowly catch up on things.
Categories
1 Year Ago
Hi Dopey,
A year ago I said good-bye to you. That day was much harder than I ever thought it was going to be. I re-read my post to you and I can still remember how I felt. The post doesn’t quite do justice to what I was trying to convey to you, but I hope you got it anyways. I just wanted you to know that I’m remembering you today.
I think you would like to visit the office now. There are a whole bunch of new dogs that you could have met. Though I’m sure you would have said hello then wandered off to do something more interesting. Mom and I both have pictures of you that we hold dear. Anyways I hope you’re enjoying running around in Heaven.
Still miss and love you,
Dad
Categories
On the 30s so far
First off thanks to eveyrone that’s wished me a happy birthday today. You’ve all played some part in my life and who I am today was partially due to your influence. I’m glad to have met you all..or at least most of you =) even if it was even for a short period.
Now that I’m officially 1 year into my 30s I can easily say that it’s not all that different. I mean there are some things that due change. I think some parts of my body want to slow down a bit and stuff like staying healthy weighs a bit more on your mind, but I think all of that just comes down to being wiser.
I think I can also say that I’m not quite where I thought I’d be at this point, but I’m not sure it’s all bad. When I think about the 31 years that have passed I think about people I’ve met and forgot, but mostly the friends that I’ve made along the way. I think the 30s is where you really start to see the divergence in people’s lives. In the 20s some people got married and some even had a kid. I think it’s the 30s where you really start to see the spread in life experiences. There’re single folk like me, people who are just getting married, people on their first kid, people on their 2nd(!) kid. It’s amazing to look around at my friends and see where they are in their lives. Some people end up where you think they’d end up and as always time has a way of changing people so there are some people that surprise you. I feel lucky to share their joys and sorrows, if at least vicariously.
I think for me 30s was the point when I realized that experiences and relationships are what I want to build up. Last year I was able to experience and do a bunch of amazing things like The Relay and Tough Mudder. These are things I don’t think I would have ever imagined myself doing in the past, but with the right people I was able to take advantage of the opportunities. I recently ran a 10k with some other coworkers and the interesting thing was the stronger runners were in the 30s category for this race. We also noticed 30s is the age when marathoning and triathloning seems to become much more popular. If anything I’m probably healthier now than I was in my 20s.
So all in all I guess my conclusion is I’m looking forward to the new experiences and people that lie in my future! Bring on the rest of the 30s! 40s….you can stay over there =)
Categories
2012 Goals January Update
Already behind on the goals posting! January was not a particularly spectacular month goal-wise. There was quite a bit going on with regards to work as well as having Chinese New Year’s land in January instead of February this year. With that said social activities during the month were higher than usual. Let’s check the numbers!
Diet:
Average at best. Must be more active in application of rules.
Sleep:
Averaged 6.15 hours. About par with last year’s norm.
Workout:
13/31 Not great but just passing standards.
Stretch:
9/31 Stretched about 70% of the time after a workout. Needs improvement.
Body:
Not much change in this area.
Social:
18/31 High numbers due to a lot of work sports, higher than usual weekend activities with friends, and the visit home for CNY.
One Off Goals Completed:
Yearly Phyiscal
Read Hunger Games Trilogy