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Tales of a temporary stay at home Dad: Day 5

Days without accident: 2
Nap Difficulty (1-10): 5
Dad Naps: 0
Meals Skipped: Breakfast, Lunch
Allergy Alert: Low
Special Events: Global Entry @ Dad’s Work

P had a horrible morning nap today.  Which is to say after an hour and a half I gave up.  I had a poor transfer and I think that may have called it.  Hard to say because as parents know, early on kids don’t make sense and are nondeterministic state machines.  Worse still today is the day we had to go into my office at 11:45 for our Global Entry interviews.

The original plan was to feed him his milk and get into the office to print some necessary forms and feed him lunch and maybe grab lunch with some coworkers.  What actually happened is I fed P his milk, which he drank more of than usual today and decided to feed him his food at home so he could go straight to his afternoon nap when we got back.  It was a gamble, but he ate fast enough today.  A quick diaper change and out we go!

On the drive into work he fell asleep (maybe 15m) before I had to take him out of his carseat.  I stalled as best as I could (kicked off the printing from my laptop in the garage).  I felt bad because he was really out.  P did really well given he had no real nap and didn’t cry and smiled for the folks we ran into.  Luckily P hadn’t broken any Customs Laws during his trip to HK so it was a pretty fast process.

When we finally got home he went straight into his napsack and into the room.  I realize the rush I was in to get out because his food bowl and bib were both unwashed and where I left them.  I also left the diaper on the changing table and the wipes box open (facepalm).  He had a good nap though (one intervention needed, but no morning nap so that’s expected.  He gets a pass on this one).

After Carin got back we let him chill in his walker for a bit. Thanks Rob for the hand-me-down.
Zoom zoom

Day 5, whew…check

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Tales of a temporary stay at home Dad: Day 4

Days without accident: 1
Nap Difficulty (1-10): 2
Dad Naps: 1
Meals Skipped: None
Allergy Alert: Medium
Special Events: Wall Escape, Eat all the things, Walk around the neighborhood

P may finally be doing a long nap.  4 days in a row (3 days unassisted) seems like it’s not a fluke.

Most of the variable time seems to lie in naps and feeding.  P is easily distracted and pace of eating varies greatly and he’ll sometimes want to play if I take too long.
Eating faces

No real special happenings today except P has proven that building a wall probably won’t stop someone who is really dedicated to getting by it.
Escape

I’ve also found that he wants to bite everything (even my feet, weirdo).  I left him alone for a bit while I washed dishes and he destroyed a fairly thick board book.  When I walked back I thought he somehow got dirt in his mouth due to the dark brown stuff on his face.
My home is eaten

We went out for a walk to Chromatic Starbucks(Someone didn’t bring their wallet).  P seems to enjoy cars and roses.  (I had to tell him not to eat the petals).
PetalsPhoto courtesy of my cousin last weekend

Day 4, check

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Tales of a temporary stay at home Dad: Day 3

Days without accident: 0
Incident Report: Crawled off Bed
Nap Difficulty (1-10): 1
Dad Naps: 2
Meals Skipped: Lunch
Allergy Alert: Medium
Special Events: New lower tooth budding, Bath time, Climbing skills put into practical use

Incident Report: At ~7:50 a.m. Preston was exploring the bed at which point he explored off the edge of the plane and slid down at which point his cranium impacted with the wood flooring.  He was shaken up, but was fine after some time as noted in the photo evidence below.
Evidence

Naps today were great today.  Again uninterrupted sleep for his long nap.  I even got 2 in today.  His second nap messed with his eating schedule both because he went long and I also napped long.

After having 6 teeth (4 top, 2 lower) it looks like another lower tooth is finally coming along.  It is hard to confirm because his smiles only briefly flash the bud before his mouth is flooded with saliva.

Bathing P has become more difficult for a few reasons.  He now squirms when he’s getting his hair washed.  I think he wants to play with the water.  He has also learned that smacking the water makes a funny splash.  Lastly I think he’s starting to get big for the tub we’ve been using.  When I put him in the water starts to get dangerously high.  This is not helped by the fact that he likes to play now.

Finally today was the first time I saw him problem solve with a new skill in practice.  For context he lost a water bottle and was trying to retrieve it.
Climbing in practice

Day 3, check

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Tales of a temporary stay at home Dad: Day 2

Days without accident: 2
Nap Difficulty (1-10): 2
Dad Naps: 1
Meals Skipped: Lunch
Allergy Alert: Medium
Special Events: Cleaners came, went out for coffee and the bank
New Skill Learned: Standing on his own (very briefly)

So…new skill.  Standing on his own (like 3 seconds maybe), but it was repeated a few times so not a fluke.  We noticed that he recently learned how to stand on top of objects that were lying against the desk to get higher reach.  I guess all that practice paid off.

Climbing

Cleaners also came by today and P is still scared of vacuums so we hopped out for a short errand trip to the bank and for some Dad coffee.  Half the strangers I run into still think P is a girl haha.

Naps today were great, I even got one in because he did the long one on his own.

 

The thing that seems to take the longest time (outside of just playing) is eating.  This kid eats all the time.  He has 4 milk sessions, a snack in the morning, 2 afternoon meals, and a fruit snack at night.  A lot of prep goes into prepping all his different items.  It’s also tough to tell which he’ll eat more of each day.  He had almost double the milk intake compared to yesterday, but ate less of the meals ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shout out to Carin for doing meal prep after coming home from work.

Day 2, check

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Tales of a temporary stay at home Dad: Day 1

Days without accident: 1
Nap Difficulty (1-10): 3
Meals Skipped: Lunch
Allergy Alert: High
Special Events: Tried a baby music class

I’m watching the kid for 2 weeks while my mother-in-law is out of town.  First rule of temporary daddy daycare, turn on your OOTO for work so you don’t get pinged while wrestling with a kid on the changing table because he thinks it’s easier to change him on his stomach rather than his back…not that that happened.

I believe he knew it was my first day on the job so cut me a break on the napping.  He had a decently long nap requiring only a short intervention between cycles.  It may have also been because he was tired from our afternoon music class.

Bubbles

The notion of a music class is interesting because I don’t believe the teacher needs to be accredited in any particular way, but it did seem to be useful for him to socialize with other kids and get some different types of play and sensory engagement.  The age group was 0-1, but it seemed like there were two 4 month olds and a few closer to 10 months.  Preston seemed to do fairly well with the other kids, but was more interested in watching than joining in on the singing.  It was interesting to note kids all like to poke each other in the face and go after unattended cell phones.  My impression is it’s like a structured doggy daycare except you stay with your pup and the kids touch each other’s faces instead of smell each other’s butts, oh and there’s singing and stuff.

Time to myself today consisted of returning a library book, getting gas, and picking up a coffee after my wife got back from work today.

Day 1, check

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529s: Parents vs Grandparents

As promised here is a follow up on the implications of a 529 from Parents vs the Grandparents.  Most of the complexity stems from how the 529s are viewed with regards to the expected contribution calculations below.

Parent’s Assets: Reduce aid by up to 5.64%
Kiddo’s Assets: Reduce aid by up to 20%
Kiddo’s Income: Reduce aid by up to 50%

Note: I’m not really going to talk about Kiddo’s assets, but if you have opened a custodial account (usually a UGMA/UTMA) these will fall under that category.

For Parents

Pros:

  • Tax free growth of assets
  • As you use it, it gets used up and affects aid less (because you have less assets)

Cons:

  • 529 assets are counted towards kiddo’s FAFSA calculation (part of the expected family contribution) and parent’s assets reduce financial aid by a maximum of 5.64%.
    Example: A parent’s 529 valued at $10000 reduces kiddo’s financial aid by $564

For Grandparents

Pros:

  • Tax free growth of assets
  • Assets in the 529 are not counted towards kiddo’s FAFSA calculation

Cons:

  • When kiddo takes a distribution from the Grandparent’s 529 it is considered income for the kiddo.  This used to affect next year’s aid, but there seems to be a new rule where income now affects next next year’s aid (e.g. income in 2015 affects eligibility for 2017-2018 school year)
    Example: Kiddo takes $10000 out of grandparent’s 529.   Aid for in 2 years could be reduced by $5000

Mitigation Plans

  • Communicate and plan distributions between parents and grandparents.  It would be horrible to have both pull money out and there not be enough qualified expenses to cover the withdrawals.
  • Grandparents can deposit in the parent’s 529 (if the plan allows) or give cash to the parents (up to the gift limit, 14k for 2017)
  • Grandparents can transfer the ownership of the 529 to the parents (not all 529s allow this so check)
  • Grandparents can strategically time payments for college.  Due to the new rule  grandparents should aim to pay for senior and junior years.  Assuming graduation after senior year, the income from these years never affect financial aid.

Ultimately if kiddo doesn’t qualify for financial aid anyways then none of this matters and everyone can reap the benefits of tax free growth on assets for higher education!

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5-20 What? 529 Basics

If you’re interested in this you’re probably a parent and looking to save for your kid’s future college fund and heard that a 529 is a great way to do it.  That’s awesome and from what I can tell mostly true.  Given how fast higher education costs are growing planning ahead is a good thing, but is it always the right time?  Let’s dig in a bit more.

Should I open a 529?

First thing we need to look at is if the 529 is actually the right thing vehicle for you at this point.  Generally speaking I’d consider the 529 after you’ve started contributing pretty heavily to (and hopefully are close to maxing out) your own retirement savings accounts (401k/IRAs as I’ve discussed before).

If the above isn’t true, I’d suggest starting with the more traditional retirement vehicles.  Both options have similar preferential tax treatment, but the 529 is much more limited in its use.

What exactly is a 529 Plan?

Sweet so assuming you’re setting yourself up for retirement already let’s talk about 529s.

From the SEC’s website

A 529 plan is a tax-advantaged savings plan designed to encourage saving for future college costs. 529 plans, legally known as “qualified tuition plans,” are sponsored by states, state agencies, or educational institutions and are authorized by Section 529 of the Internal Revenue Code.
Sounds pretty good.  So essentially they are funds, usually run by the State, that grow and can be used tax-free on qualified expenses.  Ok, let’s dig in some more on the state funds part.

States and 529s

In general each state seems to run their own 529s.  Note that while each state has their own program you do not generally have to be a resident of that state to use their program.  For example: To participate in the Utah 529 you do not have to live in Utah.  Note that some states do offer some tax deductions if you participate in their 529, e.g. Virginia.  In California, they offer no such benefits so I’m free to use any state’s 529 without feeling like I left something on the table.
These programs let you choose from a selection of market funds to create your portfolio.  Many have an easy “age based target” set of funds.  These funds will usually have a theme (domestic, aggressive, moderate, etc) and will become more conservative as the 529 beneficiary reaches college age.  You will generally also have the option to create your own mix of funds (from a limited selection they offer).

Qualified Institute

Awesome so you can grow investments and use the gains tax free for higher education at a qualified institute.  Most people think of college when you hear “higher education” and they are probably going to be pretty safe that those are qualified institutes, but 529s are actually a little bit more flexible than that.  Qualified institutes could be schools abroad and vocational schools as well.

An eligible educational institution is a school offering higher education beyond high school. It is any college, university, vocational school, or other post secondary educational institution eligible to participate in a student aid program run by the U.S. Department of Education.

This includes most accredited public, nonprofit and privately-owned–for-profit postsecondary institutions.

The best way to check is the ask the school and check online.  Do both as some schools may not show up in the list online.

Qualified Expenses

Generally these are any expenses that are required to attend the school.  A few examples below:
  • First up are any tuitions for the school
  • Room and board also count, but it can’t exceed the room and board cost used when calculating financial aid (a.k.a how much the school would charge you for room and board on campus).  Best to check with the school to find out the amount if the plan is to live off campus.
  • Any required books for courses.
  • Computers can be counted as a qualified expense as long as they are mainly used by the beneficiary during years that they are enrolled.
  • Computer software is less clear, but if it’s required for class it counts.  Pro-tip: check the campus store for education versions as they tend to be much cheaper too.

Not Qualified Expenses

  • Transportation (even to/from school)
  • Health Insurance (even university insurance)
  • Sports or club fees

Flexible Beneficiary System

So…what happens if your student decides, they don’t want to be a student.  Does all that money go to waste?  Not exactly.  The plan is fairly flexible and there are no penalties to changing the beneficiary.  Again…the IRS:
Yes. There are no tax consequences if you change the designated beneficiary to another member of the family. Also, any funds distributed from a 529 plan are not taxable if rolled over to another plan for the benefit of the same beneficiary or for the benefit of a member of the beneficiary’s family. So, for example, you can roll funds from the 529 for one of your children into a sibling’s plan without penalty.

529 Drawbacks

  • Note that 529s can only be used on higher education.  You can’t use these funds for a private high school for example.
  • If your student qualifies for financial aid 529s can also affect the amount they may get.
  • There’s also some minor complexity as to how the 529 disbursements are counts depending on who the account owner is (generally this manifests as parents vs grandparents).  More on that in a future post.
  • If you take money out of it for a non-qualified expense there’s a 10% penalty on top of the regular income tax.

This is by no means a deep discussion of 529s, but I consider the above a decent starting point to understand how they work and decide if it’s something you should investigate further.

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Parents, Parenthood, Time, and the Feels

BLUF: Thoughts on a quantified look at time with our loved ones.  Time is our most precious resource.

I read this post from Wait, but Why a while back, but find that I’m still sharing it with folks both in the context of being a new parent and appreciating the time with my kiddo as well as appreciating the time I have left with my parents/loved ones.  It just gives me the feels to see it quantified in Tim’s blog post.  I won’t come close to doing the post justice so I highly suggest you click through and give it a read yourself.

Read it?  Cool.  Here’s how thinking about the Tail End Principle has changed the way I view things.

  • As a child: By dumb luck I already have some advantages with spending time with my parents in that we live in the same state and seeing them is just a 1 hour flight down to SoCal.  The post gave me a way to more accurately evaluate the cost-benefit of a weekend trip down with regards to cost of tickets, etc.  I not only have time left with my parents, but my grandmother is still around as well.
  • As a parent: I try to get home and spend time with my kiddo, P, during the work week.  Whether it’s spending mornings with him or evenings I aim for at least one session during the work week.  Two if I can squeeze it in.  He may not remember all the interactions, but I hope that some imprint will stay there.
  • Tail End Corollary: Having spent time thinking about Tail End Principle I came up with a corollary

Tail End Corollary: The time my child has with my loved ones has equal/greater value than the time I have with them

Assuming that I value time with my parents/grandparents/relatives/loved ones.  The time P can spend with them must have equal or greater value.  The argument can be made that P won’t be able to remember said interactions if he’s too young.  But given that I have placed value in spending time with them, one can assume that the fact that they were able to interact with P also has intrinsic value to me.  So trips to visit now generate more value to me as a parent than they did when it was just me.

I hope this post helps everyone take a step back and understand how to value the time they have left with their loved ones.  I doubt he’ll ever see this, but I want to thank Tim for sharing his thoughts.

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New Parent’s Flowchart to Baby Health

For all you new parents out there.  I made a handy dandy flowchart based on asking a bunch of questions over P’s first 3 doctor visits.  I’ll let the chart speak for itself.  Note: the below assumes you did not have any special or extenuating

Flowchart for baby health

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Travel with Baby

When we had Preston the tip we got from our more experienced parent friends about flight travel was to do it while he was still between 3 and 10 months old.  It sounds young, but stick with me…there are some pretty good reasons.

  • Kiddos still sleep a ton at this point
  • You’ve gotten them at least the first set of immunization shots (you are doing that…right?)
  • They’re not that mobile yet which leads into…
  • They don’t get bored from sitting in one place  (relative to after they can walk I am told)
  • Kid doesn’t need a ticket as a lap baby (International flights may require some taxes and fees)
  • You can ask for a seat that has access to a baby bassinet.  They may charge you some nominal fee for this, but it’s so worth to be able to put kiddo down for a bit during the flight so you can do stuff…like eat…really fast.  It’s also convenient to give them a place to sleep.  Note that most bassinets have weight/size restrictions that will vary from airline to airline (so check!)
  • If you’re breast feeding, the baby’s food supply comes with no cleaning or extra luggage!

Will it still be stressful?  You bet.  But your other options are:

  • Don’t go out
  • Only go for drives
  • Wait for kiddo to grow up

So go for it.  Don’t be too worried and please ignore the haters when they see you with the kid.  Just focus on the fact that you’re about to spend some quality time with you little one.  You can always make the first move and offer some good will to your neighbors =)  Happy Traveling!

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