It’s been about 2.5 months since P started daycare and it looks like he has finally started adjusting fully to daycare. What does that mean to me? I have a pretty low bar I think, but it was primarily three things I was looking for:
- He generally isn’t fussing during drop-offs or pickups
- He was fine week 1, but likely wasn’t sure what was happening as he started getting teary week 2 (apparently this regression is normal). By week 4 he started to understand the routine.
- Getting a normalish nap (we’re just looking for an hour and no tears)
- He used to sleep no more than 30 minutes and start crying once the lights went out.
- He isn’t scared of heading to daycare
- Luckily we didn’t have to deal with this, but there’s a reason we considered this important.
The following info were things that worked for us in getting P acclimated to daycare so YMMV. Also, note that in general we had the most control over the first point. A lot of the other ones were just things to wait out or look out for.
First point – No Fussing:
Why? I think most parents don’t want to start their day with a fight against their small humans (they can be strong when they want to be). Crying and the like is also a good way to guilt many a parent into staying longer than need be during drop-off.
Tips:
- Decide on a consistent point person for drop-off: We decided I would be doing drop-offs as I would be less likely to dote during drop-off during the beginning.
- Tell your kids what’s going to happen on the way out: I’ve heard kids understand a lot more than we think they do. I have no idea if this worked, but we do it in case he understands so he’ll know what to expect.
- Tell your kids what’s going to happen during drop-off: Same as above. Let them know you’re leaving, but you’ll be back. We will tell him which one of us will come.
- Have a routine on the way in: After a few drop-offs P and I started to get a routine on the way into school. I think this helps them acclimate and they feel like they’re somewhat in control over some stuff (they have so little control). Our routine was as follows: I would carry him while we were in the parking lot until we got to the sidewalks where he would get to walk to the classroom at his pace. We stop by and say hi to the tortoise. He gets to put his lunch on the shelf, he gets to take off his jacket, he gets to put away his water bottle, and then we say bye.
Second Point – Getting a normalish nap:
Why? I think we all know why. We don’t want a crazy kid come bedtime.
Tips:
- Home comfort item: If the school allows a little lovey it can help. Preston doesn’t really have anything he’s attached to, but we gave him something he knew was his anyways.
- Time:…sorry folks, I felt like this was more on the teachers and time to fix.
Third Point – Not scared of daycare:
Why? I don’t think most parents would feel comfortable making their kid go to a daycare that they seem scared of every day. We discussed this prior and thought this could be a sign of something else going on that the kid did not like
Tips:
- Have a backup plan: We luckily didn’t have to deal with this, but we did discuss other daycare options should this one just be a fantastic failure for our kid. We think not all daycares are suited for all personalities.
- Be ok with sunk costs: It would have been painful because we waited soooo long for this spot to open and there’s the registration fee, etc. But after discussing it we felt that if it were so bad that we really felt the need to pull P out, it was probably for the best.